Boca Birth Blog: The Birth Story of Matthew Jospeh

...aka why I suck at identifying labor. :)

Tuesday night Justin had left to go to RCIA class. Avé had a late nap and woke up around 5; I took her for a walk to kill some time before dinner and since I had a little feeling that labor might be possibly starting. The day before I noticed that my contractions, while still not painful, had gotten very hard & stronger than usual. I figured my body was at least gearing up.. or that I just had more Braxton Hicks. That kind of continued all day Thursday, so I had taken a walk earlier with Avé as well. We headed out for our second walk of the night, and the sun was getting ready to set. I was struck by the beauty of it all; the blue sky with its pink and yellow streaks, soft white clouds, and the low light of the fading sun. Avé was very quiet watching it all as well, and I looked at her, still so small, sitting there in the stroller and I felt this overwhelming sadness that soon she would not be an only child anymore; soon there would be another baby. She looked so little and young and I wondered how it would be when the new baby showed up. I wondered how she would react, I thought back to her own infancy and all of the things that changed when I found out I was pregnant again. I was kind of sad, and hoped it wasn't robbing her of any part of her babyhood. I knew it would be ok, but I had this strong sense of nostalgia as we walked along.

We got home and I fixed us dinner; after dinner we played and she wanted to get up on my bed. She sat on the edge, legs dangling off, and I got down and looked her in the eye and told her that she would always be my baby - my first baby - and I would always love her the same. Then we went and I gave her a bath and she went to bed at 7 as usual. I cleaned up from dinner, and noticed that those strong Braxton Hicks were still there, threading in and out as I washed dishes and sorted bills and straightened up the kitchen. Around 8 I decided to lay down and time them, since it couldn't hurt. They were starting to maybe kind of feel like there was some type of cramping along with the intensity, so I thought if I laid down they might go away and then I could be reassured that it was false labor, and I would be heading to the doctor's tomorrow for my check-up.

I laid down in my bed and opened the contraction master window as I checked through e-mails. Every now and again I would have a contraction, and I timed them for about 30 minutes. They were 10 mins, then 8 mins, then 9 mins, then 10 again. That got kind of boring, so I decided to hop in the shower (the night before was when Avé woke up puking, and I was pretty sure my hair still smelled like throw up. Ugh). I got in the shower and stayed in there for a loooong time - as long as the hot water lasted (I love hot showers, esp. while pregnant). I did keep having those strange contractions, and they were definitely more like cramping now. I would lean over and let the water run down my back, or bend down and support myself on my knees during them and that took the pain away. I figured since I could make the pain stop by shifting positions and getting comfortable in the hot water, this couldn't be real labor. I was a little disappointed, but whatever - it was what I expected, anyway.

I got out of the shower and saw a basket of clean clothes sitting there; I decided to put them all away and then when I was finished I thought that I might as well change the bed sheets. I kept having the contractions while I was putting the clothes away, and I would squat down during the ones that felt a little more uncomfortable. I could still 'talk' through them and everything, but I was like Hmmm, well, I guess this could be false labor.. may as well practice. I put all of the clothes away and changed the bed sheets figuring if we did end up in the hospital (unlikely) it would be nice to come home to fresh sheets. Then I decided to go out in the living room and bounce on the yoga ball/time some more contractions since they were still crampy and maybe felt more frequent. I got on the yoga ball and put my computer on the couch and bounced around for maybe 30 minutes and then I heard the garage door open and Justin was home. I had timed some contractions, but I hadn't bothered looking to see if there was a pattern yet - I was busy replying to some facebook messages or something. I got up and talked to Justin; he told me all about RCIA and showed me the things they had given him for Christmas. I mentioned that I had been having some contractions that were actually slightly uncomfortable, but I didn't really think they were real labor. He was like... well are you ok? and I said yes, it wasn't really painful or anything. He went to sit down and watch some tv, and when he did I was standing holding the counter and I had a very strong contraction. During it I was like 'ok, this MUST be labor b/c these feel different.' but then in between contractions I felt so good and normal that I was having a hard time convincing myself. I decided to go blowdry/straighten my hair in case it was labor.

I headed off to the bedroom where I did my hair; I did some stretches while I was blow drying, haha, and squatted during a couple of the more painful contractions. I finally finished straightening my hair around 10, and threw a few last minute things 'just in case' in my hospital bag (deoderant, makeup..) I headed back out to the living room to lay down on my left side and time them. I figured if they fizzled out while I was laying down, then it was definitely fake labor. I laid down and started timing.. 5 minutes.. 5 minutes... 5 minutes.. and then nothing. 10 minutes went by and STILL nothing. 15 minutes went by and Justin announced he was going to bed, and I was totally bummed b/c they had stopped so I was like ok well, I am just going to bed, too. I went to get up from the couch and had a pretty painful contraction, but I was mostly just frustrated that this didn't seem to be real labor, just that 'prodromal' labor or whatever that people talk about. O THE JOYS OF PREGNANCY! That is when I made the LJ post before I went to sleep.

Justin and I got in bed, and I told him that the contractions had kept up, but then they had stopped on the couch. I told him that they felt different from the Braxton Hicks, but not really PAINful, just uncomfortable. He felt my belly and said that it felt the same. I told him I'd let him know if I had any more, but I wasn't expecting to since they had stopped on the couch. We laid there and laid there until about 10:45 just talking, and then all of a sudden I could feel one. He put his hand on my belly and felt the tightness. He checked the time for me and we waited, still talking, and 4 minutes later I had another one. This one was not very painful at all, but hey.. they were back to the 5 min apart thing. We waited.. 4 minutes went by, then 5.. then 6. I was like, see, they aren't consistent. :( and then at 7 minutes I felt one starting and this one was actually pretty painful. I shifted around so I was on my knees hugging a pillow for the next one as well, and suggested he grab his laptop so we could time them on there. He did and we started timing again with contraction master. This was at 11p.m. I got up to pee and had a pretty uncomfortable one in the bathroom. The first couple were 5 minutes apart, and they were getting progressively more uncomfortable and I started breathing through them. Then Justin was like, "Hey, why don't we try some of those positions they taught us in Lamaze?" He was leaning back against the pillows and told me to come sit between his legs and lean back onto his chest. I didn't want to at first because squatting/leaning forward felt pretty good, but then I remembered that you are supposed to switch positions frequently so I figured it couldn't hurt to try. I sat in front of him indian style, and he sat behind me and ran his fingers through my hair every time I would have a contraction. We could hear the waves on Avé's sound machine over the monitor, and he reminded me to breathe, in and out, with the waves. He rubbed my back and I held his knees and breathed through them. They were 5 minutes.. 5 minutes.. 4 minutes.. then I had 2 on top of each other. Then 4 minutes.. 2 minutes.. 2 minutes.. 2 minutes.. 1 minute.. 2 minutes. Quickly they were starting to get pretty painful. I had to lift myself up off of the bed and kind of squat when they would start. Then I turned around to face him and just leaned into his chest while he held me. That felt so good and relaxing. At this point he said, "Maybe we should call your mom." I looked at the clock and it was only 11:15. We had only started timing the contractions at 10:45. "I don't know," I said. "I think they are supposed to be consistently coming at least 5 minutes apart for an hour. Its only been half an hour. We should wait until 11:45".

I was thinking that I didn't want to get to the hospital and have them fizzle out/them send me home. I wanted to stay and home and BE SURE that this was labor not get there too early. I had like 1 or 2 more though and I was like "Ok, call my mom.. these hurt." He got on the phone to her and she didn't answer! He started leaving a message and another contraction hit and I said, "Hang up - call my dad, call Sara, SOMEONE will answer, we don't have time for a message." My parents live 25 minutes away so I knew they would have to hurry and leave now to stay with Avé. He called Sara and she answered, and she said she would leave in a minute. They hung up and I had another one. "Do you think we should just bring Avé there?" Justin asked. I didn't know. Hmm.. another contraction hit. "Call them back, we're bringing her there - lets get in the car NOW!"

Justin jumped up, grabbed the bag, and started heading towards the bathroom. "Do you have your toothbrush? Toothpaste? What about mine?" I was like, "No, I packed it, its all in there". He started heading toward the closet. "What about clothes for me? I need clothes.." I was like "IT IS PACKED! YOUR CLOTHES TOO! GET IT IN THE CARRR!" They were starting to get very intense and painful, like I couldn't move through them. The feeling started at my sides and radiated around my whole abdomen, stretching down into the tops of my thighs. As he rushed getting the bag, the boppy, and the car seat cushion into the car, I sat on the bed and wondered HOW I was going to get dressed. I was wearing a black nightgown and that was it - no bra or anything. I was like OMG I have to get pants and a bra and a shirt on. That seemed like an insurmountable task. I finally got out of the bed (it took me two tries) between contractions and just thought, screw it - I grabbed some pink capri pj pants and put those on under my nightgown. I grabbed my cell phone charger and wallet from the night stand, and then started out toward the car, then went back for my black hoodie so I wasn't totally inappropriate. Justin had gotten Avé, her sound machine, and Pink Pony & Pooh out and into the car, and I headed over to the car to meet them. Oh, I also grabbed a baby changing pad thing b/c as he was getting the stuff from our room and the first time I tried to get up, he looked at me and said in a worried tone "Um, you're bleeding - is that normal?" There was a tiny spot of blood on the sheet where I had been sitting. I was like, "yes, its fine! Lets GO!" That was the last bit of confirmation that I had that was like This Is It.

We got in the car and started the loooong drive to the hospital - it is 30 mins away, all highway (luckily) plus it was 11:40 at night so there were no cars on the road. As soon as I sat down I said, "Um, I think I might throw up" because I had started feeling nauseous. I had my bed pillow and a body pillow in the seat to help make me comfortable - ha! Justin was doing about 80, and I kept doing my best to breathe through the contractions that were getting MUCH worse. He offered me his hand to hold - I was like, "I can't.. not right now" then he offered to rub my arm/shoulder and I was like, "DON"T TOUCH ME!" He tried to talk me through the contractions like he did when we were in the bedroom and I said, "PLEEEASE JUST BE QUIET!" and then he was. Haha, poor guy! But the talking/touching distracted me from the pain and I needed everything I had to focus on the pain which had become excruciating.

Somewhere about halfway the pain got so bad that I started moaning and saying OW OW OW OW during the peaks. Once they started to subside I would say "Its ok its ok I'm ok I'm ok" and that (kind of) helped. My sister called and said they were just going to meet us at the hospital so we didn't have to drop off Avé. Poor Avé started crying when I was doing my OW OW OWWWW, and Justin was trying to reassure her and I was kind of trying to in between contractions as well. I held out for as long as I could, I tried to turn around and face the back of the seat and that SUCKED, then I settled for leaning sideways against the seat facing out toward the window. I had turned on Christmas music and in between contractions I could actually hear the music; it was all Gloria in Excelsias Deo and I was like AHHHHH. We got off the ramp of the exit FINALLY and right before we did I was like, "OH I HOPE I AM IN TIME FOR DRUGSSSS". Justin shot me an alarmed look and was like, "But what? I thought you didn't want an epidural?" And I said, "UM I CHANGED MY MIND". He was like, "Can I ask why? What is making you change from your plan?" And I said, "BECAUSE THESE HURT LIKE A MOFO!!!!!!" He didn't really say anything else (probably because I started again with my OW OW OWWWW OH GOD OH GOD).

We pulled into the parking garage of the hospital, and went up to the third floor parking (which felt like forever) and I was like PLEASE LET ME OUT. Justin pulled right in front of the sliding doors where we had to go inside, and I flung the door open and pretty much rolled out into a squatting position. Another contraction had hit and I was feeling A LOT of pressure. At the exit I had started feeling like the baby was smashing against my tailbone - either the urge to push or some other random new pain. I squatted there while my mom and sister pulled up and Justin wheeled a wheelchair up to me. "here, get in!" He said "Oh no - there is NO WAY I am getting in that!" I said. The contraction ended and I practically jumped up and went power walking through the sliding glass doors. Justin was pushing the wheelchair along beside me - "Are you sure you don't want to get in?" He asked. I had had ENOUGH of sitting in the car - no way was I getting in a wheelchair! My mom waved at me from the car where she was getting Avé. "GOD BLESS YoU!" She yelled. I was like, THANK YOU BYE! We walked across the corridor from the garage to the hospital, and everytime I had a contraction I had to stop and lean against the wall/say OW OW OW OUCH!! and then when it ended I was like, "ok, lets go!" I still felt fine in between them. We practically sprinted to the elevators, and in the elevator I had another contraction and I was like, "I can't do this anymore." The doors opened and Justin was like, "its ok - we're here" and I saw the sign that said The Baby Place and we got out.

Justin walked up to the nurses' desk and the shades were drawn. He went around to the second window and tapped on it. "Excuse me," he said, "I think we're having a baby". The nurse smiled politely, and wheeled her chair around, "ok sir, here, let me get you some paperwork.." meanwhile I had power walked past him into the waiting room, where there was a nice pregnant blonde woman and her husband sitting. "Hmm," I thought. "I better walk around the corner so I don't freak them out". I spun around and headed back past Justin and then a contraction hit. I grabbed a chair and leaned over, swaying my hips saying, "OW OW OW.. um.. I *think* I need to push". Justin heard me and said to the nurse, "Um, she is saying that she needs to push." The nurse was like, "When was she due?" "4 days ago, Friday". Then she asked, "First or second baby?" He said, "Second" and they were like "OMG GET BACK HERE NOWWWW".

As soon as the contraction was over I waddled/power walked into the Triage room, where the nurse handed me a cup and asked if I could pee in it. I was like um.. I can TRY. I went into the bathroom and stripped off my pants which were at this point covered in blood. I was bleeding a lot. I wiped with the little wipey thing and just felt a lot of blood and then I had another contraction. I was like "I think.. I need.. to push" again, just loud enough so they could hear me between the OWWWWs. The nurse was like "Oh no, come here, let me check you." I got on the little chair in between contractions (which again hurt like crazy b/c I was basically sitting/lying back) and she saw the blood - it was running down my leg - and she goes "Oh.. you are bleeding. A lot. This changes what I am going to do." She checked me and didn't say anything about how dialated I was; instead she started asking me questions about the placenta - if they had said anything about it at my ultrasound, if there was previa, etc. I was like "No, its just bloody show, there is nothing wrong with my placenta" and she kept insisting that it was a LOT of bleeding. She then got the speculum thing and said, "I'm just going to make sure that there is only a baby's head in there.." and checked really quick - and she said, "Yup, ok, good.. only a head". At this point I was looking at her going, "Please, can you give me drugs? PLEASE?! I don't care what, just give me something, just some kind of DRUGS!" and she just kind of smiled at me and ignored me; another contraction hit and I was off moaning again, and she just looked at Justin, shook her head and whispered, "too late!"

The next thing I knew a nurse had wheeled a wheelchair into our room and I heard her on the phone with the doctor; she was like, "Dr, I have your patient here.. yes.. she is complete, we need you here NOW." As soon as I heard that I thought two things - #1 was CRAP NO TIME FOR DRUGSSSS and #2 was OMG ITS GOING TO BE OVER SOON!!! It confirmed that the sensation that I was feeling WAS the need to push, and then I was like OK! TIME TO PUSH!! The nurse was like, "NO! This is Triage! THIS IS NOT LABOR AND DELIVERY!!" And I was basically like, screw you I don't care! I gotta push now!!!! Anyway they somehow convinced me to get in a wheelchair and I waited until between contractions and then I was like, "OK GO GO GO GO!" They ran me down the hallway, during which I was commenting on how WONDERFUL the cold air felt on my face, and apologizing to the nurses. I was like, "I'm so sorry, I should have come sooner, I just didn't know..!" They got me into the L&D room and there were 3 nurses there all running around freaking out. One was like, "We need to start an IV!" and the other one was like, "There is no time!" The first one replied, "BUT WE HAVEEE TOOOOO" and the other nurse looked at her and was like, "Ok, then YOU do it.. I'm not". Meanwhile I am writhing and moaning through contractions on the bed. The Triage nurse, who I thought had been so mean, came up to me and put her arm around me and held me tight whenever a contraction would start. It would end and I'd say, "Ok, its over, I'm ok," and she'd let go, and then a minute or two later I could feel it starting and I'd say, "Here comes another one!" and she would go, "Ok I'm right here!" and she put her arms around me and squeezed me to her chest. That helped soooo much, even though I had said I didn't want to be touched. It felt very calming.

At that point I kept insisting on pushing, and one of the nurses came up and PUT HER HAND ON THE BABY'S HEAD. I totally freaked out, I was like OW DOOOON'T DO THAT! I yelled it. She was like, "I am just trying to control the baby coming out!" I was like WTF WOMAN GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. I CAN CONTROL THE BABY - Here, I will BLOW! so I started blowing instead of pushing, which felt fine to me, nothing was taking the pain away anyway and I wasn't pushing hard at that point. She moved her hand and I did some baby pushes and then the door popped open and in came my doctor, the SAME one who had delivered Avé, who out of all 6 doctor's at my practice is my favorite, I see him the most b/c he is just all kinds of awesome. I was like "OH THANK GOD YOU ARE HERE!" and he was like "Yup, here I am!" I said, "I need to push!" and he was like, "Push away!!" That was music to my ears. I started pushing, and I felt his head coming out.. and then it started to hurt, so I freaked a little and stopped and he slid right back in. Justin was holding my right leg and he kind of laughed and said, "Peekaboo!" I pushed again but with less force, and it didn't feel right. I stopped and asked the doctor if I was doing it right. He paused and looked at me and said, "You are pushing well but he needs more to come out. You need to push from your back, loosen your shoulders and use your stomach muscles." I don't exactly know how he described it but it suddenly made sense to me. I said ok, waited for the next contraction, and then pushed... and pushed... and pushed. I could feel him coming out and it hurt, I was saying OW OW OW, I can't do this! But everyone was saying "Well you ARE doing it! Come on!" and encouraging me. I gave another push, and then the doctor said, "Ok Lynn, 2 more pushes and you're done." I was excited to hear that. I pushed once, and he said, "Ok, one more" and I thought he was lying. I did one more big one, and I was using my legs to push against Justin's arms and I felt my thigh cramping and it hurt so bad, and then suddenly everyone was yelling "Look down! Look down!" and I released my grip on the handrail and opened my eyes and there he was, big and dark haired and beautiful. I was like, "It IS a boy!" and then in that instant I was hit with the realization that I felt fine - no not fine, GOOD! I was like, "I FEEL AMAZING!! Oh my gosh!! I feel SO GOOD!" The nurses started laughing and the doctor put him on my chest and I just stared and stared at him. Justin and I both said, "He looks like Ave!!" (and he does, just with dark hair and dark eyes instead of white hair and blue eyes. Their little faces are so the same). We just kept smiling and laughing.

The nurses took him to the warmer to weigh him and everything, and they asked me if I was ok with the Vitamin K stuff in the eyes, and offered me a shot of pitocin for my placenta or whatever (I had already delivered it sometime in between staring at him). I asked my doctor if I tore and said, "I don't think so, let me double check.. nope!" No tear, no nothing. The nurses were congratulating me on having so much control over the pushing (I think it was because I was so afraid of pushing too fast & tearing. I remembered much more than I thought I would in the midst of all the pain.)

So basically, we started timing contractions at 10:45, left the house at 11:40, were admitted to the hospital at 12:22a.m. and he was born at 12:36a.m. If you count the contractions that I noticed at 8p.m., it was a 4.5 hour labor. SO much different than the 48 hour + labor w/Avé. I am so glad that I was able to do it naturally, Justin was so wonderful and it really was an overwhelmingly awesome birth experience. The nurses said I was only the second patient they had ever seen that didn't even have time for an IV. We stayed in the hospital 2 nights and went home Friday afternoon. Matthew weighed 7lb 8oz and was 20 inches long. My milk came in at 2 days PP and he left the hospital at 6lb 15oz; at his one week check up he already weighed 8lbs!! Breastfeeding is going really well. Things seem so much easier the second time around *knock on wood*. He is up every 2ish hours at night and sleeps cuddled in my arms all night long. He is a beautiful, sweet, snuggly baby and I love him so much!

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