My Miracle Baby

My birth story starts way before my daughters actual birth. From the very beginning I was high risk. I suffer from an autonomic disorder that affects my heart and blood pressure, and I was 35. So off the bat without any pregnancy complications, I was high risk. Then the unexpected happened.  At 6 weeks I woke up to severe bleeding. I of course panicked and went straight to the ER. It was the longest 2 hours of my life Sitting there waiting for the doctor to tell me the horrible news.  I just had this feeling that it wasn't going to be good with all that blood. Like how could this turn into good news? Major bleeding during pregnancy is just never a good sign.  The doctor came in. Still a heartbeat. Baby was ok for now. I had a threatened miscarriage and they found subchorinic hematomas in my uterus that were threatening the pregnancy. The doctors told me I could lose her at any time. So needless to say the first 25 weeks of this pregnancy I was an emotional  wreck. But I tried my best to stay level headed and be calm about the situation because I knew freaking out wasn't good for any of us, but deep down I was terrified. No one wants to lose their baby. No one. The subchorionic hematomas continued to cause trouble and more ER visits. Then at 22 weeks, we had a Down syndrome scare. I had 4 markers. We Decided we would go through with the amnio just to know if she in fact did have Downs. The wait seemed like forever. All I knew was that no matter what the outcome was, I would love that baby girl like no other, and whether or not she had Down's syndrome made no difference to me. I finally got the call that we had all been waiting for and listening to the doctor over the phone saying "there are no chromosomal abnormalities" baby girl is just fine. Tears just streamed down my face. She was ok. Once we got to 30 weeks I felt the biggest sigh of relief knowing that even if she were born now, everything would be fine. We finally got to our c-section date 3 days before Christmas, and I was extremely emotional. I couldn't wait to meet my daughter. I couldn't wait to hear her cry and to just hold my little miracle baby. At 7:55am on December 22, 2015, my little Ellie made her debut into this world. She was perfect and I didn't want to let her go. About 4 hours after her birth, she resided in her new home of the NICU for the remainder of the hospital stay. Her and I had incompatible blood types and her liver was having a difficult time getting rid of the bilirubin, so she was severely jaundice. So off she went into phototherapy for 4 days. I got to see her every 3 hours only for feedings. 20 minutes of feedings mind you. It was the weirdest feeling to be in the hospital for delivering a baby, and not have her with me. I was hell bent on breastfeeding because I had such a horrible experience with my first daughter. I longed for that bond with Ellie and couldn't wait for her to get better so I could hold her. I felt like the scene in dumbo where Dumbo's mom was caged and couldn't  hold him. We finally got the okay from our pediatrician that she was ok enough to come home but that we had to come back daily for tests to make sure she didn't need to be readmitted. I my friends got the greatest Christmas gift of all. We got to bring our beautiful baby home on Christmas Day.  It's been a little over 2 weeks since she's been born, and all this one wants to do is be in her mama's arms. I have loved every second so far of being Ellie's mom. She truly is my little miracle baby who defied all the odds against her. She was meant to be in this world and I was meant to be her mama.